"ever since gpt has risen in popularity, i hate using the em dash. but it still won't stop me from using it."

In a world that spins a little too fast, there is someone who refuses to rush. That someone is me. I move through life not like a passenger on a train but like a wanderer on a long road, watching the clouds, tracing meaning in silence, and laughing at the absurdity of existence. I have learned that to be me is to live between contradictions: quiet yet expressive, reflective yet playful, serious yet amused by my own seriousness.

My days are filled with small, chaotic beauties. The hum of a late-night thought, the rhythm of keys as I type, the way a random memory can unfold like a song I forgot I loved. Sometimes I exist in words, sometimes in music, and sometimes in a quiet that feels louder than sound. There are moments I disappear from the noise of the world, not because I am lost, but because I need to find something deeper—something that no conversation or trend can explain.

And yet, life keeps demanding interaction. People come and go, their laughter echoing like faint bells in a fog. Social interaction, for me, is both an an art and a labyrinth. I walk through it with curiosity, though sometimes the walls close in. There are times I stand in a crowd and feel like an observer in my own play, analyzing every word, gesture, and glance, while pretending to be part of the rhythm. I am both the actor and the audience, never fully belonging, yet never fully apart.

As for relationships—ah, that curious, tender absence. There is no grand romance written in my story yet, no great confession under the moon. It’s not sadness that fills the space, but a quiet fascination. I’ve loved in silence, in imagination, in all the ways that don’t require saying it out loud. I have built castles of emotion from glances, smiles, and what-ifs. And maybe that’s enough for now. Perhaps, like Dante gazing upon his Beatrice from a distance, I too am meant to love through the ache of admiration, to feel deeply without owning the feeling.

Friendship, however, is my chosen warmth. I keep a circle small but real, where laughter feels unforced and silences are comfortable. My friends are constellations that light my map. They tease, challenge, and ground me, often without realizing how much they matter. Around them, my layers loosen. I am no longer the observer; I am the pulse of the moment, laughing until my ribs hurt, spilling thoughts that sound ridiculous and profound all at once.

Still, solitude remains my oldest friend. When the world quiets down, I descend inward like Dante through the circles of my own mind. In the deepest layers, I find the rawest parts of myself: the fears I try to outgrow, the dreams I dare not name, the strange beauty of existing at all. It is there that I reconcile my contradictions and return, reborn each time, with new words and new wonder.

So who am I, really? I am the storm and the calm after it. I am the question that answers itself only halfway. I am laughter breaking through melancholy, thought tangled in emotion, and emotion disguised as logic. I am both everything I’veshown and everything I’ve hidden.

And maybe that’s what makes my story alive. It isn’t a tale of victories or heartbreaks. It’s a living symphony, shifting with every heartbeat, written in moments you’ll never fully see but somehow feel.

All about me is all about becoming.

Still With You is (and will always be) my favorite lullaby
Still With You, huh?

---

[Intro]
Your faint voice brushes past me
Please call my name just one more time
Though I'm standing still beneath the frozen sunset
I'll take one step at a time toward you
Still with you

[Verse 1]
A dark room with no light
I shouldn't get used to it
But I'm used to it again
The low-pitched sound of the air conditioner
If I don't have this, I might just fall apart

[Pre-Chorus 1]
We laugh together, we cry together
These simple feelings were everything I had
When will it be?
If I see you again
I will look into your eyes
And say, "I missed you"

[Chorus]
In a rapturous memory
The rain pours even when I dance alone
By the time this mist clears
I'll run with my feet wet
So hold me then

[Verse 2]
The moon looks lonely
Like it's crying in the bright night sky
Even though I always know the morning will come
I want to stay in your sky like a star

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Every day, every moment
If I knew this was gonna happen
I would've cherished those moments more
When will it be?
If I see you again
I will look into your eyes
And say, "I missed you"

[Chorus]
In a rapturous memory
The rain pours even when I dance alone
By the time this mist clears
I'll run with my feet wet
So hold me then

[Outro]
Behind the faint smile that looked at me
I will draw a beautiful purple shade
Though our footsteps may be out of step
I want to walk this path with you
Still with you

There came a night when the silence grew heavy enough to echo. I found myself standing at the threshold of my own mind, where shadows curled like smoke and memories flickered like dying stars. It was not despair that led me there, but curiosity—the need to understand what burns quietly beneath my calm. For every laughter I share, every thought I hide, there is a flame that never sleeps.

I began my descent.

In the first circle, I met Doubt, a pale figure with my own face. He whispered every question I had ever buried: Am I enough? Am I real? Will the world ever see me as I am, not as I perform? His voice wasn’t cruel, only familiar. I lingered there too long, warmed by uncertainty as if it were a friend. Doubt, I learned, doesn’t destroy—it seduces.

In the second circle, I found Desire, restless and golden. It had no body, only light, shifting into forms of what I longed for but never had. It showed me faces I admired, hands I never held, laughter that belonged to someone else. It was beautiful, and it hurt. I reached for it, and it vanished like smoke. The ache remained, soft but eternal, reminding me that love, to me, has always been more idea than event—more poem than person.

The third circle belonged to Silence. At first, it seemed peaceful—a sanctuary of thought. But as I wandered deeper, I realized silence has layers. Some are gentle, made for healing; others are sharp, cutting between me and the world. I saw all the words I never said, floating in the air like ghosts. They asked me why I buried them. I had no answer. Silence smiled and said, Because you feared being misunderstood. And perhaps that was true.

Beyond that, I met Time. He did not walk; he drifted. His face was unreadable, his hands always moving. Around him lay the fragments of my days—projects unfinished, promises postponed, dreams marked “later.” Time didn’t scold me; he only looked. His eyes held every moment I had wasted waiting for the right one. And in that look, I felt both the cruelty and mercy of existence.

Finally, in the deepest circle, there was Me. Not the version I present to others, but the raw, unfiltered pulse beneath it all. I stood before myself as one stands before an old friend and an ancient fear. There were no flames, no torment, only stillness—the kind that hums with truth. I realized then that my inferno was never punishment. It was revelation. Every doubt, desire, silence, and delay was not a sin, but a signpost. Every fire within me burned not to destroy, but to illuminate.

When I rose from that inner descent, I carried with me a quiet clarity. I no longer sought to be unscarred; I sought to be real. I no longer wished to escape the labyrinth; I wanted to learn its walls, trace them, name them, and make art from their echo.

So here I am, back among people, laughing again, thinking again, pretending sometimes, but now aware. Beneath every word I speak, there is a spark from that inferno. And every time I smile, it is not to hide the flame—but to show that I’ve made peace with its warmth.

Because the truth is simple and impossible at once: To know oneself is to walk through fire and come out glowing.

Summary

---

SHAPE Summary Table

Dimension	Essence	Keywords
S - Signature Strengths	Curiosity and emotional reflection as instruments of growth	Learning - Insight - Depth
H - Heart	Integrity, empathy, and longing for authentic connection	Authenticity - Compassion - Meaning
A - Aptitudes	Analytical and creative synthesis - bridging logic with feeling	Storytelling - Structure - Design
P - Personality	Contemplative strategist, emotionally attuned, quietly resilient	Visionary - Grounded - Reflective
E - Experiences	Formed through solitude, challenge, and quiet persistence	Resilience - Awareness - Transformation

---

1. Signature Strengths (S)

My strength lies in how I learn: not from manuals, but from moments - often the quiet, unspoken kind. I am not fueled by competition, but by curiosity; not by the desire to know everything, but by the longing to understand why something feels right.

I see learning as an act of meaning-making. I observe, absorb, and then reconstruct. This ability to weave patterns from fragments - emotion, logic, memory - allows me to approach complexity with calm precision.

Resilience is the hidden pillar beneath this curiosity. I have faced disappointment, misdirection, even silence from people and from life itself. Yet, I have never let those pauses define me. Instead, I rebuild - slower, perhaps, but always deeper.

I am not in love with perfection. I am in love with refinement - with the process of revisiting an idea until it finally speaks truth.

Keywords: reflection - curiosity - resilience - emotional intelligence - meaning-making

2. Heart (H - Values, Passions, and Core Beliefs)

My compass points toward authenticity. I refuse to wear masks for too long; I would rather be misunderstood for being sincere than praised for being performative. I hold integrity not as a rule, but as rhythm - the pulse that gives life to all that I create.

Empathy is the foundation of my worldview. I see it not as sentimentality but as design: the ability to step into another mind, feel the logic behind their emotion, and translate it into clarity.

I value connection, but I don’t chase it recklessly. I crave the kind that survives silence - the kind built from long conversations, shared metaphors, and the gentle understanding that not everything must be spoken to be known.

Love, for me, is often a study in distance - the ache between wanting to be understood and learning to be at peace with mystery. It is this tension that fuels my creativity: a longing that turns into language.

Values: authenticity - empathy - depth - responsibility - truth-seeking

3. Aptitudes (A - Hard and Soft Skills)

My unique ability lies in the synthesis between art and system, emotion and clarity. I do not simply “solve problems”; I reinterpret them - understanding how structure can serve meaning.

4. Personality (P - Work Style & Mindset)

I live somewhere between the contemplative and the expressive. I enjoy solitude not for isolation but for calibration - it’s where I reorganize the noise into pattern. Yet, when purpose calls, I can be articulate, confident, and collaborative. My creativity is strategic, my logic empathetic. I thrive in environments that value both imagination and discipline - where ideas are not just made, but matured.

Keywords: contemplative - strategic - adaptable - imaginative - emotionally attuned

5. Experiences (E - Formative Journeys)

I have learned that failure, when endured with awareness, becomes a curriculum in resilience.

The early semesters of university were a mirror - one that showed me that intelligence without discipline is potential unrealized. I learned to respect consistency, not as punishment, but as structure for growth.

Life has also taught me humility through absence - of recognition, of reciprocation, of certainty. I have been both the architect and the wanderer in my own story, tracing paths that vanish as I step forward. Yet, I’ve discovered beauty even in misdirection.

Every silence has taught me to listen better. Every rejection has clarified what I value. Every unfinished thing has prepared me to finish something that truly matters.

Themes: growth through struggle - meaning through reflection - creation through longing

---

6. Personal Charter (Piagam Diri)

Mission: To create with consciousness - blending intellect and emotion, structure and art - so that everything I build, design, or write becomes a vessel of understanding.

Core Values: integrity - curiosity - empathy - depth - persistence

Guiding Principles:

---

90-Second Narrative

"I am not in a hurry to arrive. I am learning to live as both architect and wanderer - to build meaning while still being shaped by it. My curiosity is my compass, my empathy the map, and my persistence the path. I think deeply, not to complicate, but to clarify. I write, design, and create not to impress, but to translate the emotions people often can’t name. My failures have not broken me; they have made me articulate. My solitude has not isolated me; it has made me observant. My longing has not weakened me; it has given my art its pulse. I am still becoming - and I intend to do so consciously.”

---

1. All About Me

Kriteria	Skor (1-5)	Deskripsi
Refleksi Pribadi	5	Esai "All About Me" menyajikan refleksi yang jujur dan mendalam mengenai kontradiksi diri, hasrat akan kesendirian, dan proses penemuan makna.
Koherensi Teks	5	Gaya penulisan liris, mengalir, dan konsisten. Transisi antar topik (solitude, friendship, longing) terasa matang dan menyatu, membuat pembaca terlibat.
Visual/Layout	4	Tampilan gaya Medium (gambar kustom di atas, teks terpusat) berhasil membuat konten yang panjang menjadi nyaman dibaca. Perlu memastikan gambar kustom memiliki resolusi tinggi.
Rata-rata	4.67	Konten UTS terbaik dalam hal kedalaman naratif dan keaslian suara penulis.

2. My Song for You

Kriteria	Skor (1-5)	Deskripsi
Integrasi Media	5	Berhasil mengintegrasikan dua jenis player (Spotify Embed dan MP3 Lokal) yang memenuhi kebutuhan preview dan full playback. Pilihan lagu sangat personal.
Relevansi Lirik	5	Lirik yang disajikan di bawah player sangat relevan dengan tema portofolio (perjalanan dan keteguhan). Memberikan layer emosional tambahan pada konten.
Tampilan Visual	4	Tampilan embed Spotify sangat rapi. Perlu memastikan custom MP3 player (lilac) tetap elegan dan tidak mengganggu visual utama.
Rata-rata	4.67	Implementasi multimedia yang sangat kuat, berhasil menjembatani media streaming komersial dan konten lokal.

3. My Stories for You

Kriteria	Skor (1-5)	Deskripsi
Kedalaman Naratif	5	Esai yang mendeskripsikan 'inner descent' (seperti di Inferno) menunjukkan kematangan refleksi diri, memetakan kecemasan, keinginan, dan proses pembaharuan diri.
Struktur Tulisan	4	Alur (circles of descent) sangat kuat secara konseptual. Perlu memastikan *flow* antar paragraf di beberapa titik tidak terlalu memisahkan ide utama.
Keaslian Suara	5	Suara penulis sangat otentik dan reflektif. Mampu mengubah pengalaman negatif (Doubt, Desire) menjadi "signpost" (petunjuk arah).
Rata-rata	4.67	Karya yang mendemonstrasikan kemampuan untuk mengubah pengalaman pribadi menjadi struktur naratif yang universal dan filosofis.

4. My SHAPE

Kriteria	Skor (1-5)	Deskripsi
Kejelasan Struktur	5	Penyusunan SHAPE dalam format tabel dan poin-poin yang rapi sangat efektif. Memudahkan pembaca memahami korelasi antar dimensi (S-H-A-P-E).
Kelengkapan Data	5	Setiap bagian (S, H, A, P, E) dijelaskan dengan detail yang kaya dan personal. Memberikan gambaran komprehensif tentang mindset dan skillset penulis.
Gaya Penyampaian	5	Penggunaan paragraf singkat, tabel, dan *bullet points* secara konsisten membuat konten padat ini menjadi mudah dicerna dan engaging.
Rata-rata	5.00	Output SHAPE terbaik; berhasil menggabungkan refleksi mendalam dengan presentasi struktural yang profesional.

Refleksi Akhir: The Cartographer's Journey

Secara keseluruhan, portofolio ini adalah sebuah peta diri yang berhasil memetakan terrain internal yang kompleks. Kekuatan utama portofolio ini terletak pada koherensi tematik (Tema journey/becoming) dan keaslian suara penulis. Anda menggunakan struktur dan logika (seperti di SHAPE dan tabel) bukan untuk membatasi, melainkan untuk membingkai refleksi mendalam.

Karya ini menunjukkan bahwa Anda tidak takut dengan kompleksitas emosi atau kegagalan, melainkan melihatnya sebagai kurikulum yang membentuk perspektif. Rata-rata Akhir Portofolio: 4.75